From Lance… Deep thoughts!
. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
. Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
. Half the people you know are below average.
. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
. I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
